Learning how to deal with a narcissist is tough, especially if you share a close relationship with them. Setting boundaries and looking after your personal well-being is paramount while dealing with the situation.
In an ideal world, we wouldn’t be worried about learning how to handle a narcissist. We wouldn’t have nosy bosses, manipulating partners, or toxic relatives overstepping our personal boundaries. In a perfect scenario, we would be able to spot narcissists from a mile ago and understand how to preserve our mental peace and well-being while dealing with one.
Unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world. And therefore, we all might find someone exhibiting behaviors that are unhealthy for us.
Narcissism has become a massive buzzword in today’s world. It seems as if we all know who a narcissistic person is. Aren’t they the ones who’re obsessed with their appearance in the mirror, want constant attention, and cannot look beyond themselves?
Truth be told, our understanding of narcissism is clouded by mainstream media, where it’s almost like a catch-all phrase for nearly everything.
In reality, narcissism is way more complex than your regular self-obsessed tendencies. While an inflated sense of self and a complete lack of empathy for others are signs of narcissism, there’s much more to it than just that.
This is why learning more about narcissism is one of the first steps in learning how to deal with a narcissist in real life.
To help you get started, we have compiled a complete guide on how to deal with narcissistic people. We will begin by understanding who narcissists really are and how you can spot one. Finally, we’ll move on to the most effective tips on how to manage a narcissist. Let’s dive in.
Who Is A Narcissist?
A narcissistic individual is someone who displays highly self-centered tendencies. It’s used to describe someone with the following personality traits:
However, it’s essential to understand that not all types of narcissists showcase such traits. Narcissism occurs on a spectrum, with people exhibiting a range of behaviors from increased self-confidence to pathological narcissism.
The extreme end of this spectrum is termed a diagnosable mental health condition known as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). NPD is diagnosed in individuals whose narcissistic tendencies significantly affect their regular lives.
How To Deal With A Narcissistic Person?
Learning how to manage a narcissist can feel like an uphill task. It can significantly affect your mental health and well-being. Figuring out how to deal with a narcissistic person can evoke feelings of fear, confusion, anger, disorientation, frustration, and severe disturbance.
People with narcissistic tendencies are often oblivious to their behaviors. And such behaviors are often a result of abuse or neglect during a pivotal stage of life. Therefore, understanding their behavioral patterns is a good start to learning how to deal with a narcissist.
Moving forward, here are the most effective and least intimidating tips on how to deal with a narcissist.
1. Understand the narcissist.
The very first step in figuring out how to deal with a narcissistic person is to understand where their narcissism comes from. Beneath the grandeur of their personality and self-obsessed tendencies often lies a deep shame and embarrassment that’s extremely painful.
Now, this does not mean that in order to learn how to manage a narcissist, you need to reason with their abusive, unhealthy, or toxic behaviors. However, observing their thoughts and behavioral patterns can give you an insight into their life.
For those trying to understand how to deal with a narcissistic spouse or parent, it can often be a cathartic experience to know that their loved ones’ behaviors are not a result of any fault of theirs. They are instead fuelled by much deeper problems that they have to deal with on their own.
2. Build and articulate non-negotiable boundaries in your life.
Having well-established boundaries is one of the most critical steps in how to combat a narcissist. Boundaries help preserve your mental peace and well-being while dealing with someone who might otherwise cosntantly be vying to encroach in your personal space.
Now, setting boundaries while trying to figure out how to communicate with a narcissist does not mean that you’re expecting them to change or eventually become better. Setting boundaries means drawing a line regarding what you’re willing to put up with or tolerate.
Pro tip: While setting boundaries is a good first step in learning how to deal with a narcissistic partner, it’s equally essential to communicate those boundaries to the other person.
3. Understand the signs of manipulation gaslighting.
If you’re trying to understand how to confront a narcissist, expect the fight of your life. Narcissistic individuals frequently weaponize gaslighting and manipulation tactics to wield power over those around them. Therefore, it’s essential that when it comes to you, you’re able to spot the manipulation and not fall for it.
Now, it’s essential to understand that this manipulative behavior might not always be intentional. However, it’s just as harmful to you.
The good news is that narcissists always come back to similar techniques once they feel they’re succeeding. So, if you are learning how to deal with narcissistic people, try to study the behaviors and tactics they use to defend themselves. This will empower you to take a stand for yourself the next time it happens.
4. Don’t idealize or reward narcissistic behavior.
Narcissists often have a very dynamic and charismatic personality. Therefore, you might easily feel enamored by their presence. People can easily be in awe of their larger-than-life personalities.
However, if you’re trying to figure out how to cope with a narcissistic partner or loved one, it’s crucial never to idealize their personality. It’s essential to see them for who they really are rather than what they become in their happy moments.
This means you have to look deeper than what’s available on the surface level. Think of how they treat other people. Notice how they talk about their previous relationships. Pay attention to how they behave when they’re irritated or angry.
Having a realistic and pragmatic understanding of the situation is one of the best tips on how to confront a narcissistic person about their behavior.
5. Build a healthy stock of your physical and mental energy.
If you’re learning how to deal with narcissistic abuse, it’s crucial that you know this is an extremely physically, mentally, and emotionally exhaustive process. However, you should never believe that staying in this situation will make it better for you. You must fully accept that you’ll be able to take a stand for yourself and fight your way out of this vicious cycle.
But, before jumping in for the battle, you must stock up your energy reserves.
This means taking care of your physical and mental health. While learning how to deal with a narcissistic person can make you lose sight of yourself, it’s essential that you indulge in self-care. Get the right amount of sleep, exercise, eat well, and unpack your emotions every now and then.
6. Actively disengage and calm down whenever things get too much for you.
Learning how to confront a narcissistic person about their behavior is a different ball game altogether. They might constantly devalue or make you feel like a real problem. Therefore, it’s necessary to disengage with them and calm down whenever the conversation gets to your head.
Often, we deal with narcissistic co-workers, relatives, or bosses whom we cannot avoid. Therefore, actively disengaging with them is one of the best tips for dealing with them. This way, you preserve your mental reserves and protect yourself from getting hurt any further.
7. Surround yourself with supportive people.
As mentioned above, there are times when avoiding a narcissistic person is not possible. They might be your employer, family member, friends, or spouse.
In such situations, one of the best tips on how to manage a narcissist is to surround yourself with people who add positivity to your life.
You see, there’s never an easy way to figure out how to deal with a narcissist who only thinks about themselves. Being around these people can really take a toll on your mental health. This is exactly why spending time with people who love and care for you can be a much-needed respite.
Not only that but having a strong support system empowers you to confront narcissism better. It helps you understand how people treat you the right way. This way, you can hold those who do not treat you right accountable.
Conclusion:
Learning how to deal with a narcissist can be overwhelming and highly complex. You are constantly manipulated or gaslighted by them, yet you understand that they have much deeper issues that are fuelling these tendencies.
This is why actively disengaging from the situation, understanding their narcissistic tendencies, and offering them the right channels for professional help can be effective solutions. We hope these tips on how to confront a narcissistic person will help you get started in the right way.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is clearly one of the misunderstood mental health conditions. To learn more about it, click here.
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